The Misnomer
I spoke with teens about the device they hold so dear to their hearts. For some unknown reason, adults and children still call it a phone. A mother said, “I bought my child a phone for her sixth birthday.” No, you did not buy a phone, stop it. You bought your child a social media device, which happens to be able to make phone calls.
The Misconception
How many people do our six-year-old children call or text? How many hours do our children spend on social media versus calling someone else? Some youth told me they spend around 6 to 8 hours per day on social media and maybe five minutes communicating with another person. When I told parents they bought a social media device, they all looked like monkeys staring at headlights, unsure of what to say. They all thought they had bought a phone. This is where our self-delusion begins.
The Financial Burden
Another teen said they had six phones before age 12. How is this possible in a family that seems to be very financially challenged? These devices are expensive. Two of the phones were water damaged in the toilet bowl, and another was damaged while bathing in the bathroom. Shake my head. Seriously, who takes their phone to the bathroom? When I surveyed the group, they all confessed they use their phones in the bathroom and in the toilet. When I appeared shocked, they laughed and called me weird for not having these lived experiences.
Sleep Deprivation and Academic Challenges
Another group said they take their devices to bed, and about fifty percent agreed that 3-4 a.m. was their actual bedtime. They admitted this might be why they are challenged to fully absorb school lessons in the morning. Now we know why some children are struggling at school.
The Allure of Extremes
They confess that they are drawn to the most extreme, most intense and most shocking content on social media. This certainly raises questions about the psychology behind it all. Can such content create an addiction loop? We have to ask, are their young minds being wired to crave more and more intense stimuli? If it’s comedy, music, violence, or dance, it must be the most vulgar, most sensual, deadly, and most immoral version of it. Passive, mild, and moderate are not part of their craving. The youth gravitate to the extremes, and without restraint, they acquire a taste for it and love it. It’s addictive, and they suffer breakdowns and serious withdrawal symptoms if you dare separate them from their devices. It’s scary to think that our youth are seeing these things online daily for hours and we know it, but are in denial and pretend its just a phone to excuse ourselves as accidental accomplices.
Disturbing Content
I saw some of their TikTok posts. They studied the most sexual dances and reposted them to the most egregious and dirty songs. Their ages ranged from 8-13 years old. Our children post themselves with weapons and death threats. I was shocked to see teens watching porn during worship in Church. When I reported it, the Church leaders were afraid to speak to the youth for fear of chasing them away. Shake my head.
Parental Awareness and Denial
You would be inclined to think that their parents are not aware of all this, and you would be 60 per cent correct. Many of the parents who are blatantly aware of the monster they are creating still bellyache and flood the earth with rivers of water and cries of, “Not my child.”
Parental Accomplices
I bought the device, I give permission, I allow unrestrained access to sites, unlimited use, lack of monitoring, providing unlimited data plans, ignoring age restrictions, not setting boundaries, using devices as babysitters, modelling bad behaviour, allowing devices in private spaces, not educating about online safety, ignoring warning signs, providing multiple devices… and the indictment on parents goes on.
The monster I created
These actions, whether intentional or not, contribute to the creation of a digital environment where children are more likely to become excessively attached to their devices and the content they consume. Negative content can influence negative and unsavoury behaviours in our society. You may be monitoring the boys on the block and trying to keep your child from making contact with them by putting a device in their hands filled with more destructive knowledge and detailed instructions than the boys on the block may ever have.
Overuse and Addiction
Excessive screen time may lead to sleep deprivation, and constant exposure to inappropriate content can have serious mental and physical health implications, including anxiety, depression, and behavioural issues. Sleep deprivation can also hinder academic performance and the ability to concentrate in school. What are we doing?
Conclusion
This is not about being scared of technology or demonising it, but there is a clear pattern of abuse and misuse of technology that can have far-reaching negative effects on children’s development, health, and well-being. Whose fault is it? Addressing these issues requires setting boundaries, monitoring usage, and educating both parents and children about the responsible use of technology, especially with regard to the I.T. curriculum.
Technology is a tool and we must ensure it is being used for good and not for bad. As parents we must take responsibility for our actions. We have to rethink what we actually put in the hands of our youth. This is a societal issue and will take all of us to address it correctly. Remember that this digital world is constantly changing and we therefore have to adapt and learn. Do not leave it up to the children. I challenge all parents to make one at least change today to their child’s use of his or her device. God bless.
Vincent Smith
Executive Committee Member
Family-Faith-Freedom, Barbados
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